Come clean

I am a butterfingers.
I don’t have fair and flawless skin.
I have zero skill.
I’m not a straight-As student.
I do and pick things slow.
I’m sensitive.
I eat more than I need.


I still do jahiliyyah and silly things.
I still hurt people’s feelings.
I’m still dependent in certain things.
I still rarely do exercises despite the food overload.
I still have numerous huge holes needed to be plugged up.
I still waste my money over unnecessary stuff.
I still waste my time daydreaming and procrastinating.


Yet each day I’m trying to be a better person, a better muslimah.
Maybe I’m a bit too slower than anyone else I know, but I’m still trying.


The Great Wall of China wasn’t built in one day.
The telephone wasn’t invented in one day.
An experienced qualified teacher isn’t trained in one day.


Sorry if I don’t meet nor surpass anyone’s expectation, yet.
Or have I said or done things I shouldn’t have.
I’m still trying. Step by step.
And I’m not perfect.
Not even close.
I’m sorry.
Truly.
I am.


“Wahai orang2 yang beriman! Masuklah ke dalam Islam secara keseluruhan, dan janganlah kamu ikuti langkah2 syaitan. Sungguh, ia musuh yang nyata bagimu.” (2:208)


Yes, I’m trying. So can you.